Family

Recently, I read an inspiring posting that talked about family and it tugged on my heart. She said that family is important. More than anything else, she wanted her children and grandchildren to have a secure sense that extended family will always be there for them and love them. In addition to this, she hoped that they would be proud of their siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and want to gather with them. I too desire this for my extended family.

Growing up, I knew families that I wished and hoped to be a part of one day because I felt this sense of security and love about them. They were essentially "model" families to me. Now, I know no familiy is perfect but I give my applause to those moms and dads and children who actively contribute to the single effort of having a happy familiy. It takes A LOT of work.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted nothing more than to be a wife and a mother. I had fairytale images of the man I would marry, our dazzling wedding, our loving marriage, our amazing children and awesome gatherings with the cousins and grandparents. I have held on to my "Little Girl Dreams" with all my might. Over the years, as I matured from little girl to young woman to a woman of thirty-one, I have seen my dreams come true and in other ways they "seem" to have been dashed to pieces.

The source of my discomfort lies within the relationship of my parents. Both of my parents are good people. They are talented and have accomplished great things in their life. To begin, they created a family. There is so much responsibilty in beginning a family. Growing up in ours, there were good times with fond memories and bad times with bad memories. Ups and Downs... the eb and flow of family life. I suppose too much eb and flow contributed to my parent's seperation in 2004. I may not be a child in age but I am a daughter to my parents and as a daughter, I have longed to have my mom and my dad in my life as one positive, working unit. That is not so. Especailly as an adult, I have struggled with their seperation and where that leaves me. I have questioned and doubted them and at times lost faith in them. With their marriage disolving, I ask myself, where is my foundation? Where is my security? Where is my hope for the ideal family?

I don't have all the answers but I have been reminded of wise counsel:

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just ordinary people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." (President Gordon B. Hinckley)

When I think of my parent's seperation and likely divorce, I do run around and shout, "I've been robbed...". Instead, I should embrace the good, count my blessings, and while all is not good, all is not bad either.

I am a long way from getting the trick right. However, little by little, bit by bit, I'll make my way to where I need to be.

Here are some of my "Beautiful Vistas":



Cousins! Spencer and Sariah



Racing Nic



Speed Racers Daryl and Corey