I have locked myself in the office for five minutes to gain my composure...
I am taking deep breaths... in through the nose... out through the mouth...
closing eyes...
My day will eventually begin when I decide to make it a good one... come what may. Really? Are you ready, Nicole? Because today, I can tell by the Morning Breakfast Woes, is going to be a challenging one.
Backing up for a minute, I had a minor breakdown around dinner time yesterday. I called my husband who was studying at school. "What time are you coming home?" I asked him. All the while, Nicolas was screaming in the background, Daryl and Corey were both talking to me at the same time while I was on the phone and Lilly just woke up which meant she was crying too in the other room, Spencer unknown to me at the time was destroying a floor plan I was working on earlier in the day as part of my "Me Time" activity. Darrel's response to the chaos was "Are you okay?" I was very short. "I'll talk to you when you get home. BYE!" I have done this before and the scene when he arrived home was not good. So guess who walked through the door 40 minutes later? We talked, so that I could vent and he (experience has taught him) just listened. All was well in my world for that moment and I was able to make it through our bedtime routine.
Fast forward to this morning... "Mom! I'm hungry!" The usual morning exclamation. So, I make oatmeal. I also burned it a little (while multitasking) but, I tasted it and it was okay. HOWEVER, the kids complained," This oatmeal tastes funny. It smells! I don't want it!" My response, "Eat or starve" as I smile and walk away. And now I am here.
Calgon, take me away!
I think the stress of Anesthesia school is getting to me.
I think the stress of having my mother-in-law with us and not knowing her future is getting to me.
I think the stress of being pregnant is getting to me.
I think the stress of entertaining five kids all day is getting to me.
My ability to cope with my life varies from day to day and since yesterday was a low point, I think I am going to need special care if I am going to make it through the day.
I may be back later for another Mommy Time Out.
P.S. Lately Daryl has expressed that she would be more happier (we are working on her grammer) if she just ran away.
I'll just let that Trace Adkins song, "You're Gonna Miss This" run through my head or Kenny Chesney "Don't Blink".
I have to "enjoy" them because they grow up so fast! I'll have to laugh out loud if someone says that to me today.
Okay, this was more than five minutes.
9 comments:
Hang on, Nicole. And by all means take a few more five-minute time outs for yourself!
No one ever died of crying, and sometimes it's better for all involved if Mom can escape from the moment for a bit to regain her composure.
Oh, how well I can remember these times. I always hated to hear it, but my Mom always said the same thing to me when I was at this point, "This too shall pass." From experience I promise you that it will pass. I'm not at the point yet where I miss having "little" kids, but I do enjoy where all of them are right now. It will happen. I promise.
That's a lot of stress! March is a hard month in Maine. I usually always have a breakdown in March. If you need anything let me know, babysitter, someone to talk to, or have the kids come run in my yard on a nice day (it's free) let me know.
Thanks for sharing! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.
I put myself in time out a lot. Because I need a time out a lot!
It's definitely a lot harder to be a mom than i ever thought it would be. meal times are never a favorite for me becuase even if it was last week's hit meal no one will eat it this week. it's hard to keep a positive perspective when you're in the thick of things--i think you do a wonderful job--and you know when you need a break. i like myself in the bathroom sometimes--only to have knocking on the door 2 seconds later. i wish i lived closer to you and you could bring your children over to play for awhile! hang in there!
Jamie, Corey and Nic have been asking for weeks if they can go to Madison's house to play. The Geo Traks will forever be embedded in their minds as the ultimate toy and Madison will always be the bearer of that fantastic wonder. Thanks for the encouragement. Motherhood is a lot harder than I imagined it to be too. I still don't regret becoming a mother to any of my children. When it's good it's great and when it's bad it's really bad. I have to take it all in stride.
I'm soo sorry Nicole....I soo feel your pain! At this very moment I am hiding in my room for a little peace while my youngest screams and bangs on my door. Its ok to vent every once in a while and to take a time out for you. All I can say is tomorrow is another day and hope it is better than this one. I think you are an amazing person and mom!
I just wanted you to know that I am still a member of the Derrell and Nicole Freeman fan club. What you guy are doing is incredible as well as the way you are doing it. Why don't you pop your kids down here for the afternoon so you can have some time to yourself. I wish you guys lived closer.
Take five, ten twenty minutes - you deserve it!! You are carrying so much right now!! You guys are always in our prayers - we sure love you!
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