Still Anticipating

Thursday morning was spent making sure all was in order for Grandma before we left her on her own with the FANTASTIC FOUR. Darrel was up at 3 am and Nicole slept in until 5. We promptly left at 7:50 am to make it to the hospital for our 8 am arrival - we were 20 minutes late.



Nicole in her last hours of pregnancy 37 weeks.



Nicole and the kids psoing for the camera, "Say LILLY!"



One last Family photo as a family of six.



Daddy all prepped and ready to go.

Reflections

It's hard to believe that at this time tomorrow I will have a new baby girl!

Daryl is off making cookies with a dear neighbor and friend, my three boys are happily eating snack at the kitchen table and I have a moment to reflect.

I am blessed with a pretty amazing husband. We went this morning for the amniocentesis. This is a procedure to check the lung maturity of our baby which tells the doctor that she has the green light to deliver our baby tomorrow morning. Having been through this process once already, I was not looking forward to it. It was stressful for me and for Darrel, as he had to watch me struggle to breathe deeply and not hyperventilate. When it was all said and done, the doctor was able to get the fluid needed for the lab and our baby was not harmed and I did not go into labor. Just a few tears and great coaching from my husband to calm my fears during the procedure.

Several nurses at the office continued to ask us, "Is this your first?" When we replied, "No. This is our fifth." It even shocked me to verbalize it. I have been blessed with four beautiful children. Daryl is so excited for her baby sister. Her prayers in Lilly's behalf are so sincere. Corey is such a softie. He is the first to share with Spencer when his little brother wants the same toy he is currently enjoying. Nic is rough and tough on the exterior but a sweet soul on the interior. He wants to be in my lap (what is left of it) and just enjoys alone time with mom. Spencer is still my sidekick. Wherever I go, he is sure to follow. He is such a joy to be around and as I watch him grow from baby to toddler, I think, "I just brought you home from the hospital!"

Last but not least, as my dear friend said today, "Tomorrow, Heaven will be in room room." Count your blessing, name them one by one. Count your many blessings and see what God hath Done.

It's only $1349.00

If it wasn't for the price tag, I'd say, "Sign me up! Watch out bike paths, HERE WE COME!" Even still, it is a very cool bike. I need a two seater and it appears to only seat one child. My Zigo!

By the way, I vacuumed the living and dining room and am feeling much better. Progress always reduces my stress level. The movie is still going and my current baby is sleeping... like a baby.

I can breath again.

Shoes Off Please

I have a good collection of design notes for the new house. I just found Shoes Off Please. We do not wear shoes in our house and it's always a challenge with guests. I like this idea. It's going in our mudroom.
The above picture is just a visual...I don't mind cleaning. How often I have to clean (every hour) is what I hate.

"It's all going to be alright."

Let me just continue to decompress...

I am not anxious to leave Maryland or our family and friends.

I AM anxious to move beyond this brick wall I feel before me. Which means we need to leave Maryland, settle into our new house, get beyond the first six weeks of having a newborn and begin living without boxes! All of this anxiety is due to the anticipation of our baby and the changes that quickly follow. It's finally hitting me ya'll!

I know the grass is NOT greener on the other side so help me relax and just enjoy the next three days before our newest member arrives and we are thrown into a whirlwind again. I'm not even going to talk about all the things I want (which is the above description in detail). I'll simply focus on the moment...

Laundry
sink of dishes
vacuuming
bathrooms

Let me stop! As you can see I am anxious to do all those things which is why I am on the computer while the kids are happily watching Tarzan when I could be getting a lot accomplished.
Sigh...
What did I say earlier, oh yea, "It's all going to be alright."

Sigh...

First of all, I will start out by saying , "It's all going to be alright."

Until about an hour ago, I was feeling VERY overwhelmed. I can hardly move, I am trying to keep my feet up and I have four busy people running around the house, requesting food, drink and attention.

The morning started off with me trying to take a shower. I don't do it very often (that is take a shower when I am the only adult home). But, you know (to the moms out there) sometimes you have to. So, shower... when I get out, I listen for the kids... silence. Never a good sign. Then I hear a familiar sound that I can't seem to pin point.

I call downstairs, "What are you doing?"
The reply comes back,"nothing!" Another bad sign.
"I can hear something," I inform them.
"We are just making snow!" They return.
"With what?" I question.
Pause... the bad signs continue.
"Just our toys," they answer.

I think this through half a mila-second and as soon as I am presentable I go downstairs and I realize what the familiar sound is. Styrofoam!!! And yes it does make the PERFECT snow. How clever. Crumbled packing styrofoam all over the basement floor, dropped down from the main level. Then tracked throughout the playroom and a lovely trail from it's beginning place - the Living Room-where our dining room table is (use to be) boxed up. Another mess to clean on top of the mess that already existed from yesterday.

So, I know this makes NO sense but, the house can be a complete disaster as long as I am home. As soon I need to go away, I have to clean like no other and the house must be spotless. Well, I will be away for four days and I am trying to maintain a clean home so that when Wednesday comes I am not pressed to deep clean the entire house (which would be nearly impossible anyway). So, I felt overwhlemed because I CANNOT keep up. However, after a few meditative moments...deep breaths... proper perspective... I have come to terms with the fact that, I can not freak out over such nonsense.

Let it go, Nicole.
Get out the vacuum.
Clean it up.
Sit back in the chair.
Put your feet up.
REPEAT.

April 30, 1989

Off and on yesterday, I was able to reflect upon this very same date 20 years ago. Twenty years ago! That hardly seems possible. However, on this day in 1989 I was baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I understood what I was doing. Prior to my baptism, I gained a testimony of Joseph Smith. I gained a testimony of the Book of Mormon. I felt the influence of the Holy Ghost and at the age of 12, I made the decision to be baptized.

I don't remember all the details and I am not trying to exclude anyone or any special memories by not mentioning everything. I just wanted to reflect upon the talk that Sister Mortensen gave on the Holy Ghost. I clearly remember her face and I remember how I felt as she spoke. There was an undeniable burning within me that further confirmed to me that I was in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. Ever since that day, I have had that burning feeling within. A confirmation from the Holy Ghost that I was in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time.

The gospel of Jesus Christ has changed my life for the better. I understand how imperfect I am but, I know that God still loves me and allows me to repent and try again. It has been a wonderful journey. How grateful I am.