You're Gonna Miss This

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

by: Trace Adkins

I have been stressed (again). Nothing major, Spencer has been teething and for the first time since he was born I have felt sleep deprived. For all those with kiddies, you know that functioning on little to NO sleep is NOT a good thing. Life still goes on and you can't call out "sick" So, needless to say. I have been a BIG, grouchy mess.

I don't know whether to scream or cry. The constant upkeep of EVERYTHING is overwhelming and magnified ten fold with no sleep. The last thing I want is for people to say is, "Don't worry it gets better" that doesn't make me feel any better. I'm trying to live for TODAY and this is what my life is like TODAY.

I needed a minute (aka time out for myself) and I left the kids for...3 minutes. Nicolas finds me and he has no diaper on. His shirt has poopie smeared across the front and both hands are covered with poop. He exclaims, "I'm dirty." He was frowning which meant he didn't think this was fun and that was a relief to me. So, my "time out" was over and it was back to being Mom. I cleaned him up and had to banish his brother and sister to their rooms for jumping on my bed. Blankets and pillows all a mess. Spencer was screaming his head off because when Nic found me I was trying to get Spencer down for a nap but had to put him down to clean Nicolas. Cry or scream?

Before all this, I was driving to basketball this morning, and this song by Trace Adkins came on. At first, I thought, you are singing to the wrong Sister because I am NOT going to miss this. But, I glanced back in my rear view mirror and saw three of my four kids, happy and peaceful at that very moment. And for that moment, I said, yes, I am going to miss this. If only I had some way to capture that single, solitary moment to replay in my mind when I am feeling in over my head, depleated, washed out, run over, and at the end of my rope... to help me regain that proper perspective.

I just read this by Elder Ballard yesterday, to help recharge my batteries:

"We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult."

"First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."

This is true. May the Lord help me be a good mother to my children.